Autism

Today I had a speech evaluation for my son, Gavin. He'll be 3 on November 9th, and has yet to talk. He babbles all day long, but refuses to say any words. Because of this and other factors I noticed after reading online different warning signs of autism, my husband and I had begun to worry that Gavin might be autistic. Today, that was confirmed. For the most part anyways. The speech therapist said she's sure he has autism, but she doesn't have the ability to officially diagnose him, so she's referring us to see an occupational therapist, where they will do tests on him, to give the official diagnosis. It did hurt to have a professional confirm something you've worried about for your children. Because, you always want the best for your kids, you want them to be like a typical kid, and not have anything that could make their lives any more difficult than they need to be. It's hard, but it's not the worst thing that could happen. There are so many worse things that could be happening, I have to remember this is not the end of the world. Yes, I cried a bit when they told me, and a bit when I started to drive home from the appointment. But, life could be so much worse. And now we can do everything in our power to get him the help that he needs. I think one of my biggest fears though, is me and Jeff giving too much attention to Gavin, and not enough to our daughter Samantha, because I'm scared we're going to be focusing so much on helping him, that it takes away from Sam. I know we're going to do everything we can to make sure that doesn't happen, but I just get scared I guess. I always want my kids to feel they're getting equal amounts of attention, love, and help. I can't imagine life without either of them, and love them both so much, it kills me when I feel like I'm not giving them equal attention.
But anyways, I just wanted to update about Gavin, so that's all I think I've got for today.

random, weird.

I always find it weird when I get on facebook at 12:30 am, and see that my grandma is also online..and she lives in Oklahoma, so its like 2:30 am her time lol. What is she doing?!?

Random random random.

Jeff is bringing one of his friends from work to the airport in the morning cause he has to go to some training thing, and he's going to bring the kids with him, and they have to be at the airport at like 9. Which meaaannnsss...he's waking up early and I get to sleep in! In silence! Not attempt to sleep in, but hear the kids crying or whining and feel guilty that I'm not out there helping lol. ...not that I normally get help in the morning when the kids are crying and whining and Jeff's the one sleeping in. Oh, how nice it must be to be a dad sometimes haha. But I love my kids and wouldn't change a thing. :) ...except I'd prefer for us to be in Nebraska, but that's already a well known fact, since I am mooore than happy to always talk about it haha.

Ok, maybe now I'll go to bed.

Easy come, easy go.

I'm so ready to start babysitting again on Tuesday. It's been nice having just my two kids to spend time with, but we really need the extra $100 I get each week from babysitting, and she's really a good kid. Her and her family have been out of town on vacation for a couple of weeks, and I believe they get back this weekend, so I think I'll be babysitting again on Tuesday. I can't believe my son, Gavin, turns 3 in just 2 and a half weeks. We haven't gotten any of his presents yet, or decided when to have his party, or anything. Not that there will really be much of a party, probably just us and maybe one or two guys Jeff works with and their families. I'm happy Gavin's not old enough to really care about that stuff. I feel bad cause his first two birthdays we were in Nebraska (well we were visiting during his 2nd birthday) and had tons of people and a nice big party, all me and Jeff's families. Now, nothing close. Ugh. But, when I was at the grocery store today I went and looked at the book of different theme cakes near the bakery, and they had the cutest Toy Story one I'll probably be ordering for him! He'll love it. And he's so obsessed with wanting to blow out candles now, I might get trick candles so he can keep blowing them out lol. We'll see.

I'm just so ready for it to be December. Jeff is getting an early promotion, which is so amazing and well-deserved because my husband works amazingly hard at is job. He will sew on for Senior Airman on November 2nd, but it shouldn't show a change in his pay until the first paycheck in December, and he'll also be getting a bit extra money cause he hits his two year mark on November 3rd I believe. And apparently once you've been in the air force for 2 years you get paid more. I did not know that until recently, but am very happy to hear it. We definitely need the extra help, that's for sure. I'm hoping with that extra money we might finally be doing better than just surviving. That's the goal.

And, Jeff put in for an overseas short tour to Korea for a year, and we should find out if he got picked for that on November 3rd, the day after he sews on senior airman. I know a lot of people can't understand why I would want my husband to be away from us for a year, but if he gets chosen for that, you *normally* get to pick your follow-on base. I only say normally because the air force can never 150% promise you anything lol. And if that happened, me and the kids could move to Offutt AFB, which is located in Bellevue, Nebraska, where we're from and our families are, and hopefully we'd get that as our follow-on base and Jeff would just be able to go there when he's done with the short tour.

I'm really rambling a lot. I apologize. OH, Becker's going to be visiting me on November 24th - November 30th! I'm so excited, I can't wait to see her and have someone to hang out with! lol. And Jeff is trying to get that week off of work so me and Becker can actually go out and do stuff on some of the nights she's here instead of sit in the house and watch tv the entire time lol.

There's really nothing else too exciting in my life to talk about right now. Soooo...I guess that's it for today's update. Adios.

Where do I begin.

So I'm trying to start blogging again...let's see how well this goes, shall we? I'll begin with an introduction. My name's Melissa, and I'm 23. I currently live at Davis-Monthan AFB, Arizona, which is located in Tucson. I absolutely hate it. We moved here from Bellevue, Nebraska, which is where I wish I could be. I've been married to my husband, Jeff, who's in the air force, since December 21, 2007, and we've been together since October 28, 2006. We have two beautiful children, who mean the world to me. Their names are Gavin and Samantha. Gavin was born November 9, 2007, and Samantha was born June 21, 2009. They're the most beautiful and amazing children I've ever met, but I could be biased because they're mine lol. We've been in Arizona for a year and a half, and it just seems to keep getting worse. I wish I could be happy here, but I can't. I try, and I try, but I'm just not happy. We're trying everything we can to get out of here, so far no luck....I don't know what else to say about myself. I'm trying to teach myself to play guitar, but I'm not too good yet haha, which I guess is ok since I just started learning 4 days ago haha. I'm hoping to start taking some college classes soon, though I'm still not sure what I want to major in, but no matter what I major in I need to get my basics out of the way. Hmm..what else. Oh, my best friend's name is Becker. Well..that's her last name, but she's gone by that ever since I met her when I was in 10th grade lol. She's the best friend anyone could ask for. I can be brutally honest with her, and vice versa, and we never get pissed about it, and just know we want the best for each other even if we might not want to hear it at that time.

The only problem I currently have with writing a blog is that my life is so insanely boring, I don't have much to talk about haha. My biggest enjoyment in life (aside from being a mom and a wife and all that stuff) is watching tv. And I watch a lot of tv, it's seriously ridiculous. But Jeff works from 3 PM til 11 PM, and my kids go to bed at 7 PM, so I have 4 hours that I'm by myself pretty much, and can't go anywhere, so I just drown myself in tv shows, and their lives, and stories, and dramas, and excitements. Something to keep my mind off of how much I hate where I live and how I feel like a lepper since nobody here wants to be my friend. I've never really had a problem with making friends, until I got here. I had a couple great friends, but now they've both moved away...and I'm still stuck here, with no one wanting to meet me. I've tried. I went to an Avon party recently just to get out and meet people, and when I posted on the online event invite that I'd be going and was nervous since I didn't know anyone, a bunch of girls were like "wooo! new people! can't wait to meet you! don't be nervous everyone is so welcoming!" I got there right when it started and there were only a few people there...I walked in and people turned towards me, and then went back to their conversations. Not a smile. Not a hello. Nothing. I don't even want to try to make friends anymore, because I just keep telling myself there's no point, since we'll be moving soon...though there's no proof that we're moving soon, it's just a hope I have to tell myself.

Ok...this ended up being a lot longer than I planned. But, that's going to be all for tonight, back to getting lost in my tv shows.